My mother and anger issues

I am going to say something here, something I probably should not say. I hate my mother. And though, I am sure that people have said that time and time again. I am telling you I truly, honestly hate my mother.

Why is it her problem if I go to sleep late at night. My brother is not even home. It is 12 45am and he will be back at 2, that too he said maybe. Why am I the subject of all her torture? It is not my damn fault that I am the youngest or the only girl. The fact is I hate being a girl. I loathe it. And I am pretty sure I have never said that on the internet but it is true. I hate being one. And I know I should be thankful for being one but I am not.

I do not want to get married before I hit 20 and have a child in university, I do not want to be a typical early married Pakistani girl. Why don’t people understand I don’t want to get married?!

I was feeling so happy a while back, when I was sitting watching series 5 episode 2 of Doctor Who and who annoys the shit out of me? Well, my mother; of course.

Comes and says, “Come upstairs and go to sleep.” I tell her “Not now.” And you know what she says? She says “What is wrong with you, you say that for everything, come 'now.'” And I wanted to shake her or something; every single damn day she makes me do the most minute shitty things every other second. “Go get a spoon.” “Go close the curtain.” “Turn off the light of my bathroom.” “Lock the door.” “Close the window.” “Put this on the table.” “Go downstairs do that.” “Go upstairs do that.”

Now maybe that does not sound annoying but when you have just sat down after doing something and picked up where you left off in whatever you were doing and someone tells you to do something else you want to slap the person across the face. Since she is my mother I cannot do that.

But I cannot wait to get away. I want to get a scholarship abroad and then not come back. And if God wills that will happen, but I so dearly hope it does. I am going to stab myself someday if this continues.

I am sure that some people might see this as being melodramatic or over-reacting but I cannot take it anymore. 

I can’t.

I am sure I will regret posting this; but what can I say? I am really angry. If you saw me right now (I am calmly sitting and typing on my laptop) you would not be able to figure out I am mad.

I think I will go sleep now, what's the point in finishing watching the episode, she ruined my happy mood. And she can probably come out of her room any second and be like what are you doing, why are you not asleep, what are you doing? She does not trust me, you see; hence the "What are you doing?"s.